In a busy parking lot your parking space may have appreciated in value since you parked your car. This could either be because parking demand has increased since you parked and/or due to close proximity to the destination. If you are walking to your car and notice a car stalking you to see if the parking spot you have is desirable, please adhere to the following protocol when vacating your parking space.
- Once you notice the stalking car has stopped and put on their turn signal to indicate they intend to turn into your spot, take a minimum of 4 minutes to load your packages into the trunk of your car reaching deep into the trunk several times to adjust contents. This gives other drivers the opportunity to come from the opposite direction and put their turn signals on elevating the equity in your parking spot to maximum value. This scenario will allow you to maximize your time to complete each of the following steps without losing the cars waiting for your spot.
- If you have children to strap in (this is good), take a minimum of 2 minutes per child to strap them in. 2 minutes bonus time is allowed if you go back to the trunk and get each child something to eat or drink.
- When you get in your car, start it immediately and put it in reverse being ever so careful not to move the car even an inch. Once the reverse lights are illuminated leave the car sit for a minimum of 3 minutes being sure the car remains perfectly stationary. This is a good time to read, look at a map, or maybe search for something under your seat.
- Roll the car back 3 feet and stop.
- With a very confused look on your face, stare at the driver of the stalking car like they are in your way. A good stare will even convey the message that you are waiting for them to do something. Stare for no more than 30 seconds then pull the car forward 2 feet.
- Wait. Use your discretion here for how much time. If you executed the previous steps with precision, you should be able to wait for at least 1 minute. But be careful as the intention of this protocol is to keep waiting drivers at their maximum threshold of tolerance without having them give up and drive off to find another parking spot.
- As mentioned in step 1 above, if there is a car waiting from both directions you must decide which way you turn out of your parking spot as this will decide who will be able to enter the spot first. This turning decision must be based on the following criteria:
- Determine which driver you find more attractive and base your turn to favor them
- Determine which car you like better
- Favor the stalking car
- Finally, now you are clear to back out of your parking spot and go about your day.
...bob
